The Final Salute, with a reminder from The Department of It’s Always Something

Every so often — and not that often, actually — hard work, the generous and unstinting help of one’s friends and plain dumb luck give a guy as close to a perfect day as one can get. That’s what we got yesterday at the 10th and last Salute to Meat.

We had perfect weather for just about 100 people, and when Janet asked some them at the end which of the 10 courses contained their best bite, each course was well represented. This is what you want.

The situation didn’t look so sunny on Thursday night and Friday: Janet had come home from our vacation with a stomach issue that turned out to be diverticulitis. She was admitted to the hospital Thursday after developing a bad reaction to the antibiotic she was prescribed and didn’t get released until late Friday night, just 18 hours before the party.

In the meantime, our friends started calling with offers of help. Phoenix, who drove Janet to the hospital and stayed with her for hours on Thursday, returned Friday to punch out 3-inch rounds from soft tortillas for the pork belly course, and caramelized 10 pounds of onions for the steak.

Other friends Becky and Dan and Madonna and Steve called often to check in and offer help, came to bring coolers and other things you’d only need for the crowd we had expected. Janet’s son, Zach, who is the menschiest guy I know, and his girlfriend, Hannah, came early to help and led all the outdoor setup. And our friend Kathy came early and helped in the kitchen all day and evening.

These are the friends one wants to have, wonderful people pulling us to the finish line.

There were other, less dire challenges. The brisket was done six hours early, actually overdone when I woke up to check it at 3 a.m. Saturday. I foiled it, put it in a cooler wrapped in foil and towels, and put it on warming trays in the afternoon when its temperature started to drop too low. It turned out a little drier than I would have liked, but people came back for seconds!

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Brisket ready to be cut. That’s Janet in the black, with her back to the camera.

I also tried to grill too many 2 1/2-pound steaks at once, going for a reverse sear on two rack levels, and lost one steak in a flareup. There was still plenty that was perfect.

And I thought a few of the ribs were overdone — I like pull-off-the-bone texture — but they went fast and people asked for more.

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12 racks of St. Louis-style ribs, membranes removed, ready for rubbing

Aside from the ribs, the big hits seemed to be the pastrami Reubens and pork belly with gochujang sauce.

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Prepping the pork belly course
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Pastrami Reubens ready to go out. Someone said she didn’t like sauerkraut. We accommodate all tastes!
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Kielbasa picked and ready to go out, lamb just off the grill and ready to cut. The greenery is the mis en place for the deconstructed BLTs, ready for the piece of thick, home-cured and smoked bacon at the end of the toothpick.
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The two picnic shoulders, ready to pull.
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The pulled picnics, ready for sauce.

All in all, we were very pleased with the food, although Janet couldn’t eat a bite — she’s on a bland diet for a while.

But I’ll tell you what: I worked on the food for the best part of a week, thought about this party for the best part of a year. And here’s the image I want to remember:

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A beautiful day in my back yard, our friends having a good time. This is about half the crowd; there is another tent to the left.

Today my almost-67-year-old legs are sore. There is a little cleanup left to do, not much.

So, it was a wonderful time, a fantastic 10 years of feeding our friends, learning how to smoke, cure and cook my favorite meats. From time to time I would sing a song or two with the trio of our friends who’d play guitar and violin to entertain; I’d never done that before and I’m not likely to again.

I’ll remember the night in 2014 when the police came because we had been noisy outside after midnight. And the monsoon in 2015 when I pulled steaks off the Egg while wearing a slicker with someone holding an umbrella over me so the meat wouldn’t get wet.

There was last year, when the freezer died a month before the party and we didn’t know about it until 10 days later because we had been on vacation. Then lightning struck a tree on our front lawn the night before the party. It was great, anyway.

We thought last year’s drama had been had been pretty much the limit, until yesterday.

The thing is, there is no limit to what can happen, but neither is there a limit to what you can do if you have friends to help you.

On the day after a party like this it’s easy to wax nostalgic and imagine just one more party, one more perfect day watching Janet create a miracle in the kitchen — 10 courses in three hours — and seeing all our friends in our back yard in the sun, eating and enjoying themselves.

I might imagine it, but I’m never doing this again. Maybe we’ll find something else, a different menu, fewer people, a more relaxed day for us. It may be a different kind of perfect, but perfect nonetheless.

And for all I’ve learned about food and cooking in these 10 years, I’ve learned that the perfect party isn’t entirely about the menu. The food may have created the occasion, but our friends’ gift of their days with us has given us a collage of memories that will warm us forever.

So Far, A Salute to Pork

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The two picnic shoulders after 17 1/2 hours on the smoker. They’ll rest for a while before I pull and sauce them.

The last two pork shoulders — these guys are picnics — just came off the Big Green Egg. They’re about 9 pounds each, with the bone, and I put them on at 4:30 yesterday afternoon. They went about 17 1/2 hours later with the pit temp raised to 250 after being at 225 until 5 a.m. I took them off when one was 195 and the other 198 internal.

I’ve also put away the last five pounds of pork belly, which I roasted this morning in the oven. I did 10 pounds last night. This morning’s will joined last night’s in foil with some of the liquid from the bottom of the pan, and will be heated and crisped tomorrow afternoon.

This roasted pork belly recipe is so good that the first time I made it for Janet she took one bite and then looked at me kind of angry, as if to say, “How do I know you for 13 years and this is the first time you’ve made this?”

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Last night’s roasted pork belly. It started out as 10 pounds, roasted another five this morning, just to be sure. Each of these pieces should make about 20 servings in little tortillas with gochujang sauce.

It’s really good and as easy as it gets and the recipe is entertaining, if pretty foul-mouthed, so be warned. It’s here: https://deadspin.com/how-to-cook-pork-belly-which-thoroughly-kicks-bacons-a-1619788169.

The briskets will go on next, and I’m worried about them, as I always do, because somehow I always find a way not to play it safe. A few years ago I tried to cook two behemoths without trimming especially well and I got about 30 pounds of burnt offerings when the drippings caught fire. I’m more careful about trimming now, even liberating that pocket of fat between the flat and the point, but I’m worried that the two chests, which weigh 40 pounds between them untrimmed, will be too big for the two racks on the Egg.

The worst case will be that I take the points off and trim up the ends to fit, because it would be better to have not quite enough than to serve bad brisket. I could also smoke it on the Pit Barrel Cooker — I’ve seen videos that show a 16-pounder being done in six hours, but I have to say that the finished product didn’t look that good to me.

Anyway, enough of the Hamlet moment. I’m going to trim my briskets and see what I’m getting myself into.

Cooking for 104

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There are 104 people who say they are coming to my house Saturday for the 10th and final Salute To Meat, and these two pork butts will not satisfy them.

They are only the start of the last push. Two more will go on when they come off late Thursday morning, because my Large Big Green Egg will not accommodate all of the 35 pounds of pork shoulder that I will pull and my wife, Janet, will serve on King’s Hawaiian Rolls with a little coleslaw. Those rolls are smaller than slider-sized, perfect for two bites.

I’m saucing the pulled pork with a traditional North Carolina vinegar sauce, for which the very easy recipe is here: http://www.nakedwhiz.com/elder.htm#rubs. If you follow the link you’ll also be treated to an exhaustive and very entertaining treatise on the smoking of the divine butt.

Anyway, the next two shoulders will come off Friday morning and then the two Prime briskets, which will weigh in at about 35 pounds after trimming, have to go on the Egg, and I hope they will be done by 7 or 8 a.m. on Saturday. If they are not, I have a couple of Plan Bs.

Also on the menu:

  • 12 racks of St. Louis style ribs, a little over 35 pounds;
  • 10 pounds of home-cured bacon, to be served as deconstructed BLTs;
  • 15 pounds of pork belly to be cooked in the oven then cut bite-sized and put in little tortillas with gochujang sauce;
  • 15 pounds of beef rib-eye and dry-aged sirloin strip, which Janet will serve with caramelized onions and blue cheese, on crostini;
  • 10 pounds of lamb leg, which I’ll grill Saturday after marinating in lemon, olive oil and rosemary. Janet makes a great spicy mango sauce for it;
  • Open-faced Reuben sandwiches with the 20 pounds of pastrami that I cured and smoked;
  • And my friend, Mike Schroeder, is bringing kielbasa from Bristol, Conn., which I have to dole out after grilling it at the beginning of the party, because it is so good that people will eat so much of it that they’ll ruin their appetite for the rest. I always swear that I will not give them more than 5 pounds of it;

So with the pork butt and brisket, call it 180 pounds of meat, give or take. Of course, there is a lot of bone in the ribs, but I think we’ll have enough.

I have a Pit Barrel Cooker, and plan to smoke eight racks of ribs on it Saturday, the other four on the Egg if the briskets are done early enough to give me a six-hour window before the lamb and steaks have to go on. If they aren’t, I’ll go two rounds on the PBC, pulling the first set off a little early to hold, then finishing them on the grill when I’m ready to serve.

Today I’m making the gochujang sauce for the pork belly, which I’ll cook tomorrow and Janet will crisp and serve on little tortillas cut from Mission Soft Flour Tortillas. The sauce recipe, which was intended for Korean fried chicken but is fabulous with pork, is here: https://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2012/10/sweet-and-spicy-chili-sauce-korean-fried-chicken-recipe.html.

I’m also picking up the beer, wine and soda and the perishables for the sides. There will inevitably be some stuff I forget, and that I’ll grab Saturday morning when I pick up the baguettes for the crostini and the ice for the coolers.

So far we seem to have avoided last year’s excitement, when our freezer failed while we were on vacation and all the meat for the party rotted inside it, and a tree on our front lawn got hit by lightning the night before the event and nearly took out my car parked on the street.

But it’s a good reminder that anything can happen, especially when you’re smoking brisket and cooking for more people than attended your wedding, and so it is well to keep one’s knees loose.

 

Salute to Meat 2018: Cooking Without A Net

When we last left our pork shoulders they were resting comfortably on the Big Green Egg, having gone on at 5:30 at 225. They were up to 171 at bedtime, but I was pretty sure they wouldn’t go through their stall overnight.

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The two pork butts, just off the smoker. They rendered down to just over 16 pounds, from 18.

Sure enough, at 6 a.m. they were still at 179, and didn’t hit 190 until almost 9 a.m. They pulled beautifully.

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Both butts pulled, ready for Elder Ward’s North Carolina-style vinegar sauce.

The sauce is simple, and the recipe is readily available, but here it is:

  • 1 C white vinegar
  • 1 C cider vinegar
  • 1 Tbs. sugar (raw sugar, if you have it)
  • 1 Tbs. cayenne pepper
  • 1 Tbs. Tabasco sauce
  • 1 tsp. kosher salt
  • 1 tsp. cracked black pepper

Makes 2 Cups

The recipe and Elder Ward’s entire treatise on smoking pork butt is entertaining to read. It’s here: http://www.nakedwhiz.com/elder.htm.

Anyway, the pulled pork shoulder is now sauced and in the fridge. We’ll warm it in the crock pot tomorrow so it’s ready by 4 p.m.

I’ve decided to do the roast pork belly on the Egg, since I have a little grill time and we have things to do in the kitchen this afternoon.

Pork belly, rubbed and ready to rest, then roast
This is 10 pounds of pork belly, rubbed with a mix of garlic powder, cayenne, raw sugar, paprika, salt and cumin. It’ll rest in the fridge for an hour, then into a hot oven for 15 minutes to start melting the top fat, and finally onto a 325-degree grill for about 3 hours.

It’ll start at 500 degrees in the oven, which will melt a little of the top fat, and then I’ll take it out to the Egg. It’ll go at 325 for its entire cook. After 90 minutes I’ll throw a beer into the drip pan underneath, even though I don’t think it’ll need that in the Egg.

This will be my first time cooking it outdoors; all the other times it’s been just in the oven.